Sounds writers with silly pseudonyms

There is a tradition among U.K. rock writers of taking up an amusing nom de plume, arresting alias, or enigmatic pseudonym. Or a single word moniker that stands out graphically.

New Musical Express had a bunch - Penny Reel, Biba Kopf, Jane Solanas, X. Moore, Dick Tracy, Miles. 

 At Melody Maker, we had The Stud Brothers – originally The Legendary Stud Brothers, no less. Which inspired a female duo who went as... Sara + Jayney, I think. Then there was the fellow who chose a Welsh-language alias guaranteed to drive the copy editors up the wall: Sgrifnach Agrwnr, or something like that.  Not forgetting Everett True, who prior to that had gone as The Legend at NME and in his fanzine of the same name. 

Even The Wire had Jakubowski, Hopey Glass, possibly others

However the paper that really went to town with this was Sounds.  No idea why, but it seemed to become almost an institutional fixture. 

Below is an inventory of daft aliases deployed by Sounds writers from the punk era onwards. Organized into categories. Let me know if I've missed anybody.

Surreal / enigmatic 

My favorite out of all the ones I found - indeed the one that got me pondering this phenom - is Tibet. 

This was the Sounds byline of David Tibet, as in Current 93. Yes, he had a parallel career track, writing about the sort of thing you'd expect (industrial / esoteric underground) but much else besides (Saxon!)

As well as looking good 'n' stark on the page, TIBET as a byline has a whiff of Anglo-surrealist comedy, making me think of a Monty Python sketch maybe, or perhaps Hitchhiker's Guide to The Galaxy.  A nation-state given the humble task of reviewing a Robert Haigh piano release or sent to interview Doctor and the Medics. 

"Tibet" is also prone to inadvertently – or advertently – amusing juxtapositions, when it comes to the deks / standfirsts to pieces. Lotsa scope for copyeditor malarkey. 

Like this one - which sounds like a country being subjugated by an invading religion

Tibet in the pages of Sounds as a journalistic object not subject

Rare occurrence of his full name being credited in Sounds - a piece on Derek Jarman

(via Feuilleton) 

Another odd, enigmatic name: Luaka Bop

Which we all know as the name of the world-music (and other things - A.R. Kane!) label cofounded by David Byrne.

According to Wiki: 

Byrne took the phrase "Luaka Bop" from the inner packaging of a specialty tea which is sold in England. Luaka is the name of a tea importer. Their "Broken Orange Pekoe" is packaged in a silver foil block; when the sleeve is removed, it reveals a white label that reads "Luaka BOP". Byrne found the phrase to be “strange, but musical”, a combination he liked

"Strange but musical" - it does sound like the name of  a style of dance music from a Polynesian island or a small country in Latin America. 

So that's clearly where this Sounds scribe got it.

Another odd one I scribbled down on sight, but didn't save the piece in question: Granuaile

Then there's RAB 

Now that might just  be the initialization of an ordinary sort of name like Robert Andrew Brown.   But without any periods between the letters, it takes on a certain baleful anonymity, like the acronym of a terrorist group

 

new addition August 6 - Ear and Ear

Punky

A cluster of monikers that give off vaguely seditious vibes or are faintly offensive, the kind of name that a punk singer might adopt. 

Ralph Traitor

John Opposition (occasionally Johnny Oppo)

Jane Suck 

(later, having switched to the NME, she became Jane Solanas - a sedition-by-association name)

(now RIP)

I wonder if "Suck" was a semi-homage to Germaine Greer's underground-press sex-paper of the same name? 

It does sound like the name of the bassist in an all-female band called The Castrators. 

Jon Savage 

(which I believe is a twist on his given name Jonathan Sage - that was what was on his Maida Vale doorbell when me and the Monitor crew traipsed up to London to pay a visit in 1985)

In an alienation effect / stylistic tic, Savage would sometimes write about himself in the text of his pieces using an anonymized third-person, referring to the Writer, or the Critic, or the Journalist. All part of the demystification politique of those New Musick days.... 

Angela Ripper 

Presumably a psycho twist on Angela Rippon, the  BBC newsreader. Could conceivably be one of those jarringly odd olde-Englishe names, though. 

Literary

Another cluster of pseudonyms involve references to characters from novels - obvious, oblique, or genre-specific.

Jack Barron – a plausibly real name, but I knew Jack a bit and I am fairly certain this was not his actual moniker. Presumably it's a reference to the TV journalist character in Norman Spinrad's science fiction novel Bug Jack Barron 

 

Winston Smith –  from 1984

 

Culture Referential

Curt Vile (long before the musician of the same pun) 

Popcult Referential

Betty Page

Betty wrote a lot about the Futurists and New Romantics, so presumably this campy alias indicated an interest in glamour and dress-up games. 

Jack Spratt - as in the nursery rhyme "Jack Spratt, could eat no fat, his wife could eat no lean..."

Rose Rouse (I assume this is a reference to Rolls Royce...  I suppose it could be a real name )

Valac Van Der Veene - this certainly sounds like it's borrowed from a literary or dramatic character.... a cruel aristocrat in a Nabokov novel.... a cop in a set-in-Holland detective series.  

T

A

Valac Van Der Veene (RIP apparently) actually played in a punk band called Rikki and the Last Days of Earth - not sure which of these is him, I think the guy to the right of Rikki. 

Bathetic Whimsy

These names relate less to punk than the New Wave / pub rock interface, or maybe the comedy-punk end of things (what Garry Bushell at Sounds called punk pathetique - Max Splodge and the like). 

With this sort of name, the daftness deflates the pretensions of the critic - self-inflicted wound, or honorable levelling gesture?  

Mr Spencer  (makes me think of Some Mothers Do Have Em)

Chas De Walley  (strong whiff of Stiff about it – Wreckless Eric and the like. Kursaal Flyers)

Des Moines (groan) 

Biro Penman 

(no relation to Ian Penman – and funnily enough didn’t Sounds actually have someone genuinely called Ian Penman, but who wrote as Ian Ravendale? Yes indeed https://ianravendale.blogspot.com/p/about.html)

There was also later a Karen Penman writing for Sounds.

Goffa Gladding  - your guess is as good as mine

 

Flying Your Flag

Names that identify the writer as a genre specialist 

Heavy Metal Heather

Hey look, accidentally caught another silly pseudonym - Kelv Hellrazer - along with the Heavy Metal Heather byline

Heather  reviewing  Girlschool -  the perfect conjunction of hard rocking chicks.

Finally, some Sounds bylines that are borderline - a little bit peculiar, probably the writer's real name but enough to make you wonder

Eugen Beer

Ron Rom

Edwyn  Pouncey (seems to be from another century - a character in a Dickens or Fielding novel) (Pouncey has a proper alter-ego in his cartooning mode - Savage Pencil)

Andrie Jus Lasys

Marguerite Van Cook

Giovanni Dadomo (okay, probably quite a normal name in Italy, but in the context of the UK rock press, it seems flamboyant and conceivably chosen to stand out from the pack).

Of course, the flamboyance of the name doesn't necessarily correlate with the writing style. Some of the most eccentric and stylized critics at Sounds  had common-or-garden sort of names: Chris Roberts, Dave McCullough.

Then there were those who expressed their dandy tendencies with just a single shift of letters within an otherwise sensible name:

Jonh Ingham

A mannerism echoed, presumably in homage, by

Jonh Wilde  

(like Chris Roberts, originally at Sounds before moving over to Melody Maker)

 

(See also Jhon Balance - apparently that's a spelling popular in Latin America)

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Straying beyond Sounds, here is the inverse category: sensible-seeming name but actually an alias for a wild 'n ' crazy writing personality.

Susan Williams

That's the prim pen name initially used in NME by Steven Wells (who already had a more accurate, "what it says on the tin" performance alias Seething Wells for his identity as ranting poet)

 

Well, I think I knew this but forgot it - Seething Wells is a place - a neighborhood on the edge of Surbiton, in SW London.

It sort of sounds like a sign-off to an angry letter to a newspaper: Yours faithfully, "Seething", Wells, Somerset. 

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Sometimes I think I should have taken on a more exciting alias – or a one-word, just-a-few-letters, eye-grabber of a byline - but I’m too narcissistically attached to my given name.

But I did once write as Julie Kristeva – twin homage to early influence Burchill and later influence  Kristeva.  

This was when I was at MM but did a few moonlight reviews for a short-lived monthly spin-off of Time Out - called, if I recall correctly, 20/20.

I also adopted a pseudonym - Ian Tarr - for the publication in Melody Maker of a profile of Tricky. I think I had written about Tricky in the Village Voice at more or less the same time, so didn't want to piss them off. 

I must have just read the Wyndham Lewis novel Tarr. It’s also a sort of pun on “enter” maybe? Who knows what I was thinking. ...

 

Oh, and here's another alter-ego - Jisbella McQueen. Adopted so that I could review a fanzine that featured an interview with me

I have a feeling this band "Vulva" are actually a contribution to the grand long-running zine tradition of interviews and reviews of imaginary bands. 

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 (Not that this is a uniquely U.K. phenom - America has its own tradition of this kind of thing – Lester Bangs, Metal Mike Saunders, Legs McNeil...

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Big up Soundsclips and  Zounds Abound for all these clips

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Bonus pseudonym from New Music News, a short lived publication that leaped into the weekly rockpaper vacuum left by NME and MM when IPC publications went on strike.

Teen Pheels 

Conceivably, this alias is because the writer is moonlighting and is actually normally employed by NME or MM.

Josef K on trial

A cool new book about Josef K  by Johnnie Johnstone published by Jawbone Press

 Perusing it reminded me of the unhappy occasion of the group’s debut album – which was savaged by the two journalists who had championed Josef K most fervently: Dave McCullough of Sounds and Paul Morley at the NME.  

Which reviews were coincidentally made available again recently by those wonderful Twitter scanners NME1980s and Zounds Abounds 

Neither review is among either’s finest moments – it’s as though the anguish of assassinating a pet group has mutilated intelligibility. 

I wonder if it was Morley who instigated Propaganda's cover of "Sorry For Laughing" on A Secret Wish -  either to "do it properly" or as a kind of belated "sorry for destroying your morale and career", maybe earn them some royalties. 

It got me wondering about other examples of debuts by much-touted groups that have disappointed.

The only one I can think of is from the same era – A Certain Ratio’s To Each, which was gently demolished by Ian Penman.

It also got me wondering if I’d ever been in a similar predicament.

The answer is not really.

I did find myself in the uncomfortable position of having to slag off the first Breeders album –  I didn’t have massive expectations, but “Gigantic” plus the involvement of Tanya from Throwing Muses, created some hopes for Pod.

Uncomfortable because of being friendly with that camp, an early supporter. But you just have to steel yourself. There can be no pulling of punches. 

Also from that same camp: Hunkpapa from Throwing Muses (admittedly not a debut) was one where I had to adopt a stern, “can do better” tone.

I suppose this is where the old cliche of “they build ‘em up just to knock ‘em down” comes from. 

Usually, though, it’s someone else at the paper that does the take-down, and “they” is about a perceived institutional inconstancy or spitefulness.

That’s what is so unusual about the Morley and McCullough reviews of The Only Fun in the Town - they are the ones who'd most extravagantly heralded Josef K. It gives the reviews that tang of bitterness, feelings of “how could you show me up like this?!?” combined with the fan’s savage sense of let-down

The subject of Disappointing Albums has come up before on this blog constellation  - but that was about albums where the expectations had been built up by a fantastic debut and in many cases excellent second, third, even fourth records. 

The Disappointing Album is the first glum sign that your heroes are fallible – that they might be creatively running on empty, have exhausted all that they have to say… the first hint of self-parody, or commercial-minded caution.

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Repeat airing of Melody Maker retroactive reviews of Josef K from Steve Sutherland and yours truly

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McCullough love for Postcard and Josef K 

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